It's Okay

I’ve had a tough stretch of days recently. On Tuesday, after 5 and a half years there, my time at Whisky Advocate, came to an end. While it is for the best, I am nonetheless sad about it. On Thursday and Friday we drove to DC then Virginia to get away for a few days only for me to wake up Saturday morning with either a stomach bug. I spent our only full day in the countryside clinging to a toilet. That night, my daughter began vomiting as well. Feeling better on Sunday, I drove us 7 hours home, with a pit stop at my mom’s house, but not before my daughter threw up once more, this time all over the car seat. When we finally got home, I watched season 4 episode 3 of Succession, “Connor’s Wedding” and found myself wrecked. I went to bed after midnight, and thought about the show, my week, my life.

[Note: I am about to spoil this very important episode of television below.] Great art isn’t just technically impressive, it’s emotionally resonate. It allows us to attach our own stories onto it, and that’s exactly what happened for me as I watched this episode. In it, Logan Roy, the show’s bullish businessman and father figure, suddenly dies, sending everyone in his orbit, especially his children, into a tailspin. As I’ve mentioned here before, I lost my own father many years ago, but that’s not quite what gutted me about this episode, though I could certainly relate to the pain playing out on his children’s faces. No, what struck me occurred earlier on, when Roman tells Geri that she’s about to be fired. She plays it off saying that it’s nothing to her, and while it clearly affects both her and Roman, it is nothing compared to the loss that’s about to come. What seems devastating in one moment is rendered irrelevant shortly after. Loss has a way of lending perspective like that.

We all have these moments in our lives where everything changes, and it has certainly felt that way for me this week. Watching the Roy kids experience their own shift provided a catharsis for that feeling. As I watched, I was struck by a recurring phrase the kids often said: “It’s okay.” Part of it was that they didn’t know what else to say but also that, for them, it would be. My wife and I have been saying a version of that to each other — “It’s going to be okay” — for weeks now, as I have navigating work troubles. Sometimes we have bad weeks, or very bad days, but it served as a reminder to me, that yes, it’s okay. We keep it moving and check back in next week, perhaps different than before, but with more story to tell.